


Record Scratch

by dogtier



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Kidswap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-11
Updated: 2012-11-11
Packaged: 2017-11-18 10:51:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/560227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogtier/pseuds/dogtier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Through various antics that don't need exploring at this juncture, Roxy English finally gets to confront her dear friend and notorious asshole, Jane Strider.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Record Scratch

**Author's Note:**

> Written with [Vintar's Jane Strider](http://vintar.tumblr.com/post/29511382798/your-name-is-jane-strider-you-are-troubled-to) and [Lysslyfen's Roxy English](http://lyssylfen.tumblr.com/post/27007766157) designs in mind.

\-- tipsyGuerilla [TG] began pestering garageGumshoe [GG] \--  
TG: hy j-stri   
TG: erth to j-stri   
GG: It seems you are trying to reach one Jane Strider.  
GG: I am afraid I must inform you she is not available at this moment.  
GG: Can I be of service?   
TG: ar wht up?  
GG: Here it appears a number of cumulonimbus clouds are gathering . Such atmospheric phenomena are usually the precursor to a storm.  
TG: bg one?  
GG: Not overly large, no.   
TG: gd   
TG: whrs j-stri?  
TG: battering dwn the hatchs?   
GG: Yes. I'm sure you are aware of the need for such precautions.  
GG: Weather can be unpredictable.   
TG: so ist jst me n u?  
TG: howevr wil we amse orselves?  
GG: Is this the point where you wink at me?  
TG: ar u r a stiff somtims  
GG: I apologize.   
TG: sign  
GG: Were you pestering Jane about something in particular?   
TG: borde  
GG: Yes, the human emotion of boredom. I can't say I understand.  
TG: u r just plying up the robto thng  
TG: u get bored all the time  
GG: Oh really, what else do you know about me?  
TG: all sorts of things sexy  
TG: all  
TG: sorts

 

Roxy laid back on her green covers. It was fun rping with AR, she was pretty darn cute for a computer program, but Roxy really wanted to talk to Jane. Fleshy 15 year old Jane, not digital 13 year old Jane. She pulled off her skulltop and shook her head back and forth on the pillow, blonde strands scattered across the threadbare fabric. 

It almost seemed like Jane was avoiding her these days.

 

\-- garageGumshoe [GG] began pestering tipsyGuerilla [TG] \--  
GG: Hey Rox.   
TG: jaaaaaaaaany  
GG: Sorry about the delay. The damn sucker beasts are back making trouble around the struts.   
GG: Had to blast them off.   
TG: hv i evr told u how col it is i have a bst frind that blasts sucker beasts 4 fun?  
GG: It's not for fun. It's a necessary part of dealing with frightening fauna.  
GG: I'm sure you're aware of that, considering the species of your island.   
TG: lk u dnt have fun with it  
TG: pew pew lzrs n shit  
GG: Alright, maybe I do take a bit of enjoyment in the task.  
GG: Pew. Pew. :B  
TG: thts moar lk it   
TG: janey u r a cool ass chck  
GG: Thanks, Roxy. You're pretty keen yourself.   
TG: we dont talk anymre janey  
TG: why dnt we talk anymor?  
GG: I don't know what you're talking about, we're speaking right now.  
TG: no  
TG: i mean ye  
TG: were taking now but like this whooooooole week uv be awol  
TG: whats the dealio?  
GG: I'm just busy.  
GG: There's a lot to do in preparation for the game.  
TG: it migh go fster if u let somene else in on the plans  
GG: You know I can't do that.  
GG: On that island you're easy prey for the Batterwitch. If she knew you knew what I knew.  
GG: I can't bare the thought.  
TG: im not helpless jney!  
TG: gd if u hd it ur way id be surronded with protection bots like y built lalonde   
GG: Jake asked for them.   
TG: nt the way u made them!  
GG: Roxy.  
TG: jane  
GG: Roxy.  
TG: janej njane janey jyney!!!!  
GG: Roxy, I know you grew up on a godforsaken island, but didn't you at least have a book to teach you to spell?  
TG: fuck off janey!  
TG: i can speel just fine.  
TG: Oh look at me I'm Jane Strider I'm using capitals and shit like a tight ass.  
GG: If you're going to be that way I'm letting the responder deal with you.   
TG: Look at me I'm making my best friend talk to a robot because I'm afraid of feelings!!!  
GG: What the hell is that suppose to mean?  
TG: u fuckin kno!   
TG: gd jane.  
TG: just  
TG: fuck  
GG: Are you intoxicated?   
GG: You are aren't you?  
GG: I told you trying to make your own alcohol with island fruit was a bad idea. It's hard to control the fermenting process in a tropical environment.  
TG: fkc off jane.  
TG: somtimes i cnt stand u  
TG: Roxy, you should be more careful with your words.   
\-- tipsyGuerilla [TG] ceased pestering garageGumshoe [GG] \--

 

Roxy threw her skulltop at the wall in frustration. Jane could just be terrible sometimes. 

 

\-- tipsyGuerilla [TG] began pestering garageGumshoe [GG] \--  
TG: hy jane  
TG: jane im sorry   
GG: It seems you are trying to reach one Jane Strider.  
GG: I am afraid I must inform you she is not available at this moment.  
TG: fuck it put jne on!   
GG: I am afraid I must inform you again that she is not available at this moment.  
TG: strider you piece of shit!  
GG: I am afraid I must inform you that piece of shit is not available at this moment.  
GG: Sorry Roxy.  
\-- tipsyGuerilla [TG] ceased pestering garageGumshoe [GG] \--

 

\-- tipsyGuerilla [TG] began pestering garageGumshoe [GG] \--  
TG: jane  
GG: It seems you are trying to reach one Jane Strider.  
\-- tipsyGuerilla [TG] ceased pestering garageGumshoe [GG] \--

 

\-- tipsyGuerilla [TG] began pestering garageGumshoe [GG] \--  
TG: see you in the game asshole  
\-- tipsyGuerilla [TG] ceased pestering garageGumshoe [GG] \--

 

Roxy was a bit put out. She hadn't imagined meeting her best friends under these sort of circumstances, but she had always been good at adapting. Jake was bouncing excitedly, asking if they could explore the land already, he'd never _seen_ so much land before, there were no oceans anywhere, wasn't that weird? Dirk was indulging him, probably to distract himself from the fact his dad was missing. Jane though, Roxy was so pissed at Jane. Sneaky little fucker.

"Jane Strider!" Roxy said, stamping her foot. "Don't you try to dodge me! It's about time we hashed some things out!"

"Fisticuffs!" Jake said excitedly. "Real human fisticuffs!"

"Settle down, Lalonde," Dirk told him. 

"But!" Jake said.

"Nope," Dirk said. "Off we go, Lalonde. Let the girls have a moment."

Jake sputtered as Dirk hauled him down the hill but soon broke his sulk as Roxy could see him sprinting off pursued by Dirk. 

"Alright, Roxy," Jane said. Her arms were folded over her chest, and would have looked quite fierce if she wasn't in pajamas. "Let's have it." 

"Jane," Roxy said. "Jane, I- I care about you, you know that right?"

"Yes, I care about you too," Jane said.

"Good," Roxy said. "I wanted to make sure you knew before I punched you in the face."

"Wh-"

The blow connected, Jane too surprised to flashstep away.

"What the fuck Roxy?"

"You had it coming!" Roxy said. 

"Oh really?" 

"Yeah!"

"Right, do you deserve this?" Jane asked right before tackling Roxy to the ground. Roxy sunk her fingers into Jane's hair, pulling as they tussled, neither being able to gain the upper hand for any length of time. Jane was faster but Roxy fought dirty, not only pulling hair but biting and scratching and yowling like a cat. 

"Meanie!" Roxy said, on top once again and yelling right into Jane's face.

"You're so childish!" Jane said. 

"Meanie meanie meanie!" Roxy said. 

"Dammit," Jane said, grabbing Roxy and pulling her down so their mouths crashed together.

"Fuck!" Roxy said, reeling back. Her lip was bleeding and her teeth stung from impact. "What was that suppose to be Jane?" 

"I was attempting to be passionate and romantic," Jane said. "It seems I miscalculated."

"Been doing that a lot lately!" 

"Yes. I know." 

Roxy rolled to the side to lay next to Jane. 

"Sorry," Roxy said. "I got carried away."

"It's okay," Jane said. "I like that about you." 

"Really?" Roxy asked.

"Yes," Jane said.

"Huh," Roxy said. "Sometimes I thought you didn't like me at all." 

"That's not true," Jane said. "That could never be true." 

Roxy rolled to face Jane.

"Try kissing me again," she said. "I think my lip has stopped bleeding." 

Jane stroked the side of Roxy's face with her hand, pushing back the grungy strands of blond stuck to it by sweat and blood. Then she scooted closer and then closer still, pressing their lips together _gently_ this time.

"Oh," Jane said. Roxy snorted and laughed quietly.

"Not so suave now," Roxy said.

"Shush," Jane said. 

Roxy opened her mouth for Jane's tongue to slip inside, trying to remember how people did this in her grandmother's romance novels. It felt nice, so she guessed they were doing it right. Jane pushed on Roxy's shoulders and Roxy rolled with it, landing on her back and Jane sliding on top of her. Jane's warm hands were on her stomach and Jane shivered.

"You alright?" Jane asked quietly.

"Yeah," Roxy said. "It's just- wow I haven't touched anyone in years."

"I've never touched anyone ever."

Roxy stared up at Jane.

"Take your glasses off," Roxy said. Jane hesitated before doing so. Her orange eyes were a bit wet around the edges. Roxy kissed her hard, not even caring that her lip split again. 

"Roxy," Jane said. "Roxy Roxy Roxy."

"I'm right here."

"Yeah, it just feels good to say your name though." 

"Let me try it," Roxy said. "Jane. Oh yeah, that works." 

Jane laughed, kissing Roxy's cheek and smearing it with blood. 

"We're filthy," Jane said. 

"Yep," Roxy agreed. 

"Dirk would have a nervous fit," Jane said. 

"He so would," Roxy said. "God he's so weird."

"Yeah," Jane agreed.

"Are you feeling me up?" Roxy asked, looking down at where Jane's hands were most definitely copping a feel. 

"Um, yes?" Jane said. "I didn't think you'd mind." 

"No, it's cool," Roxy said. "Can I do you?"

"Yeah," Jane said. "Yeah, that'd be cool too." 

"Oh hey, they're big," Roxy said, squeezing Jane's chest lightly. "Wow I'm jealous."

"Don't be, they get in the way of everything." 

"Hey!" Jake said, jogging up the hill. "Hey girls, come see this there's- oh gee golly willikers." 

He stopped right on the very edge of the hilltop.

"Hey Jake," Roxy said, hands still frozen on Jane's chest. 

"Hey," he answered.

"Did you need something?" Jane asked.

"There's a um- there's this-"

"A what?" Roxy asked. 

"Maybe I should just- go?" 

"That might be best, yes," Jane said. 

Jake blinked owlishly behind his glasses and then turned, walking dazedly down the hill. The girls stared after him. 

"So that happened," Roxy said.

That's when they both lost it, collapsing into helpless giggles. 

"Oh god this is so ridiculous," Jane said. "How are our lives to ridiculous?" 

"I don't know, Janey, I really don't know," Roxy said. 

Jane laid her head on Roxy's (comparatively flat) chest. 

"I think the mood was ruined," Jane said.

"Yeah," Roxy agreed. "Should we go see what the boys found?" 

"Do we have to?" Jane asked.

"The great Jane Strider, afraid of some stupid boys?"

"I'm not afraid, it's just going to be awkward, especially because Ja- Oh never mind."

"What?" Roxy asked. "No, wait! Tell me, because Jake what?"

"Later," Jane said, kissing Roxy again before she could speak. "Just give me a little time, please?"

"Alright," Roxy said. "I will this once. You better not be doing sneaky plotting though."

"No plots," Jane said. "Promise." 

"Good," Roxy said. "Because you're not allowed to get in trouble without me from now on."

(Jane got in trouble without her approximately 23 minutes later.) 


End file.
